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SCD anti-social?

Hey everyone!

I managed to stick to SCD without any cheating on non-cheat days for 4 weeks. Then I just became so annoyed by the fact that I can't have dinner at my friends/family because it's almost never SCD-friendly; it feels pretty ungrateful not being able to take a single bite of what they cooked up for you. Add to that that about the only responses I got from people were "but why are you going on a diet?" and the "well, I don't know about you but I am just gonna eat this cake" (à la the office workers sketch from Catherine Tate show). Last but not least is that I work at a coffee place where we don't really get breaks; we're just supposed to chow down some bread with cheese when there's not as many customers.

In other words; I failed in the end.

I'm in a phase now where I actually eat SCD about 3 - 4 days and overindulge on sugars on the other days. Not putting on masses (yet) because I manage to exercise pretty regularly. I do feel that my body is kind of 'off', however, and I want to get back on track. I feel that the anti-social part of the SCD is something that I need to overcome first in order to succeed.

So I'm kind of curious; how do you handle the whole 'anti-social' part of the SCD?

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The Best Answer

United-States flag

I'm not a drinker, but during social situations, I usually order a drink and just carry it around. When the office cake comes out, rather than being antisocial and avoiding the gathering, or explaining why I'm not partaking of the goodies, I take a small piece of cake and break it up a few times with my fork and hold that for a few minutes until I can discreetly throw it in the trash. I had to change my deeply ingrained idea that food must not be wasted. Nobody is going to starve if one piece of cake ends up in the trash once in awhile.

  • CynthiaK commented Nov 19th 2011:

    That is so clever.

    I agree that most people have been raised to not waste food, so it'd be a bit getting used to, but better in the trash than on your waist!!

  • T-mama commented Mar 16th 2012:

    Wonderful idea, thanks!

  • Arelleth commented Nov 11th 2011:

    That actually sounds like I really good idea.

All Answers

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Canada flag

I think it's super important not to look at this as "failing," we all slip up. You've had a set back, ok cool you've acknowledge it and now move on from it. Way to go on your four weeks btw.

I find that people are less jerky about trying to force you to eat if you say a) you aren't hungry or b) you can't eat sugar (or whatever). This is just my experience but I have more people trying to sabotage me when I say I'm trying to lose weight then when I say I'm not hungry or am allergic to something...it's a sh*tty deal, but there it is.

As to eating at family and friends it's like everyone is saying, plan for that to be your cheat day and then just have at least 5 days (i think it's five) before the next cheat day.

and as themiller said, if you have non cheat day cheat meal just eat SCD for the rest of your meals.

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Canada flag

It can become uncomfortable at times. I'm tired of hearing, "Pears, not even pears, these don't have sugar, and your body needs it."

I worked in the corporate world for over 8 years. There was free yummy muffins and cake every day. Everyone would eat them, including those that ate and ate and were still thin. When it came time for somebody's birthday, we would have a cake. Just say no to it all. They are all eating the cake it' because they are feeling the peer pressure to east it and they don't have the will to say no to it. What I do in these situations is I politely say no thank you, and DON'T LOOK AT THE CAKE....as your coworkers may think that you want it, and they'll bother you even more to eat it.

Otherwise, I just bring my own food, everywhere I go.

Best of luck to you.

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United-Kingdom flag

Although people might not be familiar with the details of the SCD, everyone has at least used to having friends who go on diets. So most people will be perfectly happy to excuse you.

There might be a few meals like pizza or lasagne that you can't eat, but most meals you can east any of the meat and veg and just skip the obvious carbs. Or just arrange your meals with friends and families on cheat days.

Also remember that if the worst comes to the worst and you have a cheat meal, you can still have the rest of the day on SCD and not fall off the wagon.

1

United-Kingdom flag

Another good one is when somebody offers you cake, or fries or sweets or whatever, just say "No thanks I had some earlier today!".

Sometimes I'm just honest and say 'Unfortunately I'm far too disciplined to eat any of that' and you can always hide in plain sight - grab a few slices and do the offering yourself.

I'm heading home in a few weeks and I'm going to tell my family in advance I'm trying to eat a bit healthier and I'll just head out and pick some stuff up myself that I can add to the planned dinner.

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United-States flag

tough it out for awhile, it soon becomes the complete opposite where you have to fight people off who keep asking you how did you loose so much weight!

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United-States flag

I've avoided some social situations with friends I really wanted to see for similar reasons. And on occasion I've made time for them, and afterwards felt like the night was characterized by peer pressure and eventual giving in, then resentment and weight gain afterwards. It's frustrating.

I guess if you get invited somewhere, you can show up with an SCD friendly dish to share, as if you assumed the invite was for a potluck, thereby making sure you at least have something you can eat.

As for work at the coffee shop, I'd bring a bag of snacks. I have to go to a workshop this week and I've already plotted to bring a ziploc bag of raw green beans that I can snack on, and another (small!) bag of almonds. That will give me my protein and veggies. That sounds like something you might be able to plan for at work, and eat on the fly without a real break.

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United-States flag

I had a similar experience. So often socializing revolves around eating or drinking, to which diets aren't the most adaptable.

Firstly, I was in a situation earlier this year where I had very little to no time to myself, and it's very hard to stick to the SCD this way. But I did it ahead of time with meal preparation. There has to be a fridge or something where you can store a lunch at your work. I would make a large batch of cheat day meals, knowing I'd be super busy, store them in the fridge at work so that when you have to (unfortunately) wolf down a meal, at least it's the right kind of meal. It takes discipline and establishing a routine if you're busy, but at least you're able to eat according to the diet. I'd usually do something I could prepare easily in large batches-- things like tri-tip, black beans and veggies that are fairly nutrient dense and can be prepared a few days ahead of time. It's more difficult if you're in the habit of eating salads or some such that tend to be bulkier and don't stand up to time. What I've done for that is just make or buy a salad dressing I know is SCD friendly, keep it at work, and spend 10 minutes in the morning to prep a high-protein, scd salad.

Secondly, I have to agree with Nadine. Plan your cheat days around friends and family. I've just let them know that I'm on a diet, that I can't eat those things, and they understand. Hell, if anything they ask me about my diet, how it's going, etc. I've also found that BBQing is very SCD friendly, and although it's a bit late in the year here in the northern hemisphere, it can be a good excuse to a) get friends and family together while b) maintaining your diet, as you control the menu and it is very meat-and-veg friendly.

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United-States flag

I think having an excuse ready like "I'm working on my six-pack" like @Arelleth mentioned is more helpful than saying that you're "on a diet."

For some reason a lot of people think you have an eating disorder when you say "I'm dieting" and you're in the "normal" BMI/BF % range. (especially parents)

If someone invites me out for a drink I usually decline and suggest coffee instead.

Coffee or tea dates/meetups are my usual go to since they're pretty harmless.

Mexican food/restaurants also seem to be SCD-friendly if you do it right.

Sometimes I feel left out of social events too (even before SCD since I avoided sugary, calorie-rich foods), but if they know that you're health-conscious, then friends adapt :)

Peer pressure can be tough, but if you don't want to lose all your hard work, resist!

  • SakuraDancer commented Apr 2nd 2012:

    I agree with you Cynthia, and I've found that saying "I'm trying to tone up" as opposed to using the word "diet" often has a more positive connotation, since people associate it with being healthy as opposed to just weight. Maybe that will help?

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United-States flag

My thing is how critical some of my family members are. Evidently, my diet is "crazy" and some of my family have a weird need to let everyone know how absurd my diet is and how I'm a gullible sucker being taken for a ride by a greedy charlatan. They do all of this while acknowledging that I obviously look much better and I'm in much better shape. It's goddamn exhausting to be criticized by people who know that what I am doing is working for me.

I like "I'm working on a six-pack." That's my new line.

  • BabyDolphin commented Apr 3rd 2012:

    I hear similar things from my family. We're not suckers at all.....this is by far the cheapest most efficient way to lose weight. I was going to have surgery done, so this is much better!

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United-States flag

When my friends have me over or we go out they are really considerate to my 4HB lifestyle. Education is half the battle. I stick to it when I get out so I can waive off the ones who think I can't make it. Also, my best friend is coming to down from LA and I wanted to go out to dinner with her and her family. The first thing she says to me is make it a cheat day so that we can drink. Knowing is half the battle....

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United-States flag

I struggle with this a great deal too. I also work at a coffee shop, where butter croissants and blueberry muffins practically dance around taunting me. :\ Its hard too because if you say "I'm on a diet" everyone looks at you and says "you don't need to go on a diet." so I've started telling them "I'm working on my six-pack", usually gets a chuckle. But, there is always a broken cookie or scone that everyone is nibbling on and I feel so isolated/left out when I can't join in. Its like being excluded from the "water-cooler gossip". =( Also, often the night manger orders pizza or chili fries for the employees on her shift....its torture. Sorry, I wish I could offer some advice, but I'm searching for some myself, and the best I can do is sympathize. :(

  • themiller commented Nov 7th 2011:

    It seems to me that there are two possibilities:

    Either you are over-reacting - I mean, you really can hold a conversation without a cookie in your mouth. Can't you?

    Or... perhaps you really don't need to go on a diet.

    Your call.

    Me, I really need to diet so I think the inconvenience is worth it. But if you haven't had a Harajuku moment then any diet is going to be tough.

  • Jake commented Nov 7th 2011:

    I didn't read her post as overreacting. I read it as exasperation that so much of our culture has eating as the focus of social interactions. It's not that we can't talk without a cookie in our mouth, it's that we are learning to break that emotional/social ritual. It's more difficult to do that when we have pressure from our friends and coworkers, and temptation right in front of us. It's like trying to quit smoking. It's easier to do when you aren't surrounded by a bunch of other people who are smoking.

    I think I remember seeing Arelleth's before and after photos. If I'm remembering the right name to face, it's pretty clear she's had her Harajuku moment and is kicking SCD butt, even if there are moments when she feels excluded from the group because of the diet.

  • Arelleth commented Nov 7th 2011:

    thanks Jake, that is exactly what I meant. :)

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Australia flag

I just want to add that I started the SCD when I knew my husband would be busy with work things in the evenings. Wednesday is when we meet at a cafe, head to the pub to see friends, and then go for a pizza afterwards. Knowing that our Wednesday schedule would be disrupted with work gave me a bit of strength to start. No temptations until cheat day on Saturday.

When we next go to the pub, I know I can have a glass of red or some sparkling water with lime...make it look like a gin and tonic.

Timing is a factor to start on the right foot.

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Canada flag

Honestly, I think it can be tough socially. I skipped chat day this week ( but drank last night) and am going to try a 10 days till cheat day kinda thing this week. i don't feel like cheat day some weeks, it's weird! lol.... anyhow, i find that not making it SET that oh Saturday or oh Sunday is cheat ay means that when something comes up ( i have a date, let's say) I can be more flexible and that ill be my cheat day- and will most likely be a wednesday or tuesday or something. I think best thing s to try and plan for those social occasions and use them as cheats. People on this forum have been talking about Thanksgiving ( being Canadian, this is over for me!) and Christmas and New Yar's and marking them out in calendars to figure out when cheat days are and if there is enough time between whatever parties they have.

Also- you gotta learn to live with annoying people trying to shove cake down your throat or convince you that fruit won't make you fat etc. nay sayers will be everywhere

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Australia flag

I have particular problems with this, having yo yo dieted for the last couple of years. I've gone 228-150-175-140-160-124-160 now 150. Especially from my father, who is so unsupportive because he thinks avoiding carbs is 'dangerous' and that I won't be getting nutrients I need and that I'm 'bulimic', he even sent me to hospital for a few weeks at my lowest weight. I wasn't even underweight yet they packed 20lbs on me in 3 weeks and I gained another 20 trying to 'eat normally' which would never work for me because I have addictive food tenancies. So from now on it's gonna be none of his business, I'll be 18 soon so he cannot control what goes in my mouth then! I think if it weren't for my father my weight would have been stable for the past year. Even at 140lb he thought I looked 'gaunt', and at 5'9 it looks great on me. I only see him a couple of days every couple of weeks or so I can keep somewhat of a distance until he learns to accept me.

Other than this major barrier, my best friends all think I'm anorexic and certainly aren't supportive. I'm pretty much on my own. but hey, I'm doing this for myself , not for anyone else and I've vowed this will be the last time I ever have to lose weight, and you should too.

It's YOUR choice what you eat, not one else'. Everytime you see a loved one eating something you want or persuading you how 'bad' the WOE is, just prepare to wow them and add another item to your cheat day list! :D

  • 42Wired commented Nov 7th 2011:

    @SamGreen

    Is your goal weight to get back to what you were before (124)?

  • JJJ commented Nov 7th 2011:

    ^I was wondering that too since your profile pic is you at that weight.

  • Sam Green commented Nov 7th 2011:

    Yes that is that my lowest of 124 in that picture.. I'm currently 30lbs heavier. I want to get down to around 135 thus time round though. Also I never used to have a problem with social situations etc, it was just after my dad got me the wrong kind of help that things went a bit downhill..

  • Sam Green commented Nov 7th 2011:

    Loosing wright and being able to wear the clothes I like gives me a real boost in confidence and feeling of control over my eating and life.. I feel I've lost a lt of my confidence after gaining back so much.

  • 42Wired commented Nov 7th 2011:

    I also share the same concerns. Eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder can involve denial, or the sufferer may not even be aware he is experiencing these.

    I am right on with Lexi; if this many people are concerned about you, maybe there is a reason for you to be concerned, too. Your friend was concerned enough to hack your account and post something advising other forum members not to give you weight loss tips.

    Maybe your dad didn't do the right thing by putting you in hospital, but he was probably scared out of his mind, and didn't know what else to do.

    Think about how much time each day you spend thinking about your weight, appearance, and losing weight; if these thoughts are consuming a lot of time, there may be a problem.

  • 42Wired commented Nov 7th 2011:

    I understand exactly what spending every waking moment obsessing over my weight is like; I used to be bulimic. I know what that does to the mind; the levels of stress and distress and anxiety it causes; the constant shame of my own body. I also know how the things I did that harmed my body empowered me and made me feel like I was in control of my own body. I hated not having control.

    Sam, please take an honest look at your life and assess it honestly. If you don't feel you can do that, then ask someone you absolutely trust 100%.

  • Lexi dogon commented Nov 7th 2011:

    @SamGreen it does say something that loved ones become concerned for you, even if these concerns seem unfounded to you. even if you don't look like you have an eating disorder, it could still be signs of something like body dismorphic disorder- I'm not on to say do or don't follow the plan - but just remember that overall health and well-being is what we are striving for, and if that means alienating people in your life, avoiding social situations and overall feeling down and defeated, perhaps a reasssesment is in order....?

  • Lexi dogon commented Nov 10th 2011:

    wow, a friend hacked Sam's account??? i did not see that until i tracked it back to your page @42Wired .... I hope that he is on a healthy path and does not go back to an unreasonable and unhealthy weight as he said he previously was...either way if people are very concerned and it seems Sam may be tweaking things for rapid loss, perhaps to the extreme (12-1400 cals, very few cheat days -every 14days...??- going ketogenic) ...I think unhealthy food habits are all around us for sure, and some people harbor them more than others whether it is undereating, overeating, binging, guilt associated with food etc. the key is to manage these tendencies as much as possible

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