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Cloakraider

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So here I am

I hate my body. I'm 16 and I've reached over 300 pounds. 314 to be exact. I hate myself for not being able to show the bit of self control needed to say no to that extra piece of cake. I've come to envy the world and everybody around me because all of them are thin; something I don't even know if I'll ever experience anymore. Being home schooled, I have a lot of time to think to myself. When I start thinking, I'm usually happy. After a few minutes, I start getting depressed because I feel like I'm worthless. I've even tried to take my own life a few times. I've come to the realization though, that that kind of thinking probably isn't good for me. Bottom line, I hate feeling like this. I want to change now so... I hope someone out there can help me along the way.

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The Best Answer

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Welcome Cloakrider!

I commend you for your honesty and bravery :D

Indeed SCD is going to take care of the extra weight if you follow the rules, eat SCD approved foods, read the book and reach out for help when you are stuck!

I realize that I may be overstepping a boundary here but I don't know if SCD alone is going to 100% help with what you are going through. It sounds like you could use some extra support in your life that will be integral to healing some of your painful bits, being kind to yourself and learning to love yourself exactly as you are.

In this moment you are worth it, you are loveable and you are exactly perfect in every way.

If you are open to some suggestions for a form of recovery or support I would be happy to make them but otherwise will keep my yap shut until you ask.

Wishing you the best and have fun in the forum, most everyone is lovely!

All Answers

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Hey, don't feel so down. If you start now, you can and will eventually lose the weight. Don't expect miracles, but don't give up on yourself already. You're only 16! There's a lot to look forward to. Being overweight does distort one's views of the world (everyone else seems thinner and prettier and happier, right? Not true)

When I was bigger (relatively speaking I guess) back in my college days, I was depressed and tried all sorts of non sense dieting that got me even fatter and feeling absolutely terrible. All these skinny sorority chicks looking pretty and flirting with boys. Total downer. But sulking about it wasn't going to change things and you know what? When I did get thin, I realized thin people have problems too! (whether that be unhappy childhood, abusive siblings, ailing parents, doing poorly in school, no money/unemployment, cancer/terminal illness, socially awkward, what have you) You're not perfect but neither am I and nobody else either. Losing weight isn't going to magically make life perfect and happy.

I'm not saying you should accept that you're overweight (cuz I think there's a thinner you hiding in there somewhere) but let's work towards you getting to a healthier state of body and mind. Small steps. When you feel like crap, just go for a walk for 10 minutes. Nothing to it, right?

And self-control is highly overrated. I SUCK at self-control. Want that extra piece of cake? Sure, you can have it. As long as you drink a tall glass of water before and after eating it. (I did this with every food I ate. Once you get that down, try eating healthier foods like lean meats and veggies (don't go crazy on sauces or gravy though!) before your cake. And I don't mean teeny portions recommended in diet books. Those drive me bonkers and make me want to eat even more junk. I typically eat about 2 pounds of meat and veggies. This isn't from the book but that's what helped me in the early days before the Slow Carb Diet)

Anyway, there are plenty of people to help you out along the way. Wish you the best!

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Welcome Cloakrider,

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

You're not alone my friend.

Chris

  • mushin3212 commented Sep 10th 2011:

    It most certainly is! :)

  • TeaLove commented Aug 20th 2011:

    One of my Top 5 fave quotes! Lao-Tzu , correct?

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I have lost 100 pounds following a SCD regimen, and you will, too. Keep the faith, and keep coming back. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

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Your story has so many eerie parallels to mine; I got a chill when I read it. I know a great deal of what that situation feels like, and it is the worst feeling in the world to want to take your own life.

I'm really glad that you're taking charge and trying to lose weight. I started losing weight 5 years ago (the hard way; no SCD), and I lost 70 pounds. After I lost weight, I did feel MUCH better, but I was still getting depressed. I got help, and I found out that I didn't balloon to 300+ because I loved food; I had a lot of mental problems as a result of my upbringing, which drove me to eat ungodly amounts of food to make myself feel better.

Definitely stick with SCD, but also see about getting therapy. I'm one of those who would rather suffer than ask for help, so it was really difficult to go to the doctor and ask for a therapist. I hate that I waited so long.

Trust me, life gets so much better.

;)

  • Sam Green commented Jan 16th 2012:

    I can't answer reply to this post because the site is being a dumbass. But @42Wired, it's scary how much I feel I can relate. I may be 'extremely thin' by male standards now, but I have been on a yo yo for years. Mainly upwards for the first 15 years of my life, and back and forth by 40lbs for the last 18 months or so.

    The highest amount I've ever lost is 104lbs, but right now I'm 90 lbs lower than my highest weight. I should add I am only 17 too.

    I can definitely say that losing weight only solves half the problem. The other half is found within YOU.

    You need to work out what has caused you to use/abuse food/use it as an emotional crutch. Or else the other half of the problem, the weight part, will follow you for the rest of your life.

  • Sam Green commented Jan 16th 2012:

    I'm not saying it's easy at all, but figuring out both puzzles and learning how to control your emotions to in turn control your weight are what will eventually lead to being a happier and healthier person- the best you that you can be :D

    I myself have only just started to figure the real issues out for myself. And I can definitely agree with @42Wired- that 'the grass truly is greener on the side side' :-D

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You're gonna make me cry! I used to weigh 328 lbs and didn't think it would ever change, but at the same time I refused to give up. I would still buy clothes too small for me, swearing that someday I'd be able to fit them. I too got depressed at times. It was hard, but I'm here to tell you to hang in there and start now! Just take one thing and make that change then add another then another, eventually you will have new habits. It's not about the food, it's about lifestyle. Let me tell you a big thing that's really cool about this plan. You get full. I mean really full on stuff you're supposed to have. I don't crave things nearly as much as I used to. This plan really works if you are willing to work it. You did the right thing coming to this forum. I just joined a week ago and I'm finding this community to be a wonderful group of folks! So supportive and so knowledgeable! I agree with Tea Love. It sounds like there's more going on that you may need extra help with. She's awesome. Don't be ashamed or afraid to ask for help. Oh, yeah, welcome!

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Welcome.

May I recommend the book "Why We Get Fat" by Gary Taubes? It supports a lot of the recommendations in the 4HB diet, but mostly it talks about the machinations of gaining weight, why we crave certain foods and why certain diets just don't work. I think that once you read this, you won't be kicking yourself so hard. Also it will help by giving you the knowledge you need to logic out the changes you want to make. Knowledge is power. It may also help for your parents to read it, since they are likely making the household food choices.

Most public libraries will order, or borrow from another library, any book that they don't have.

Kay

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Congratulations and welcome, Cloakraider!

You ARE beautiful! You ARE worthy! You CAN do this!

You wrote, "I want to change now" which is the first step! Believe it. Visualize it. Manifest it. We're all here for you!

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Welcome to 4hb and SCD!!! Try to steer those negative thoughts away... once you start feeling and seeing the effects of this lifestyle and eventually, hopefully learn to find activities and exercises you will enjoy, you'll see how it is al worth it! Whether we are 10 lbs or 100lbs over our ideal weight, everyone is longing and aching for acceptance and no matter our size I think I speak for everyone here when I say we can relate.... hang in there, stick to the forums, ask questions, read and re-read and educate yourself.... get outside for a walk or some form of activity if you can. read a book, volunteer... just remember that even if it seems like a long road ahead YOU CAN DO THIS

GOOD LUCK!

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Hi Cloak!

Welcome to the forum...I am a newbie also! I read your intro and I felt like writing. You know, you may have 20 pounds to lose or you may have 200...the feeling behind it is almost always the same. Focus on small goals and build on that. Just found this forum and everyone here is supporting each other which is such a wonderful thing. I have been on this body "battle" for a long time and found out that being radical and overly strict, or all or nothing mentality...never works. I started on this insane journey around 13 yrs old...am now 42...and am just now realizing that slow and steady works. And with that comes acceptance and self love, which is an every day exercise. You are worth it and you can do it...we are all here doing it together.

Do you know how incredible it is that you are 16!!! You will get to your goal soon and have manyyyyyy happy years with a super healthy body! Our support is here...take the first step and keep on walking!

Much love and support,

K

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